


Of Sugar And Tinned Fruit

by orphan_account



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, F/F, Humanstuck
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-01-01
Updated: 2012-01-01
Packaged: 2017-11-22 17:20:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,840
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/612305
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Terezi lurks, skinny and bent, one hand snaking out to grab a single candy. Kanaya doesn't think she can be blamed for wanting to do something about that.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Of Sugar And Tinned Fruit

**Author's Note:**

  * For [arcadiumZephyr](https://archiveofourown.org/users/arcadiumZephyr/gifts).



> Written for Ladystuck.
> 
> '[Terezi Pyrope/Kanaya Maryam, teen + rating] I am always curious as to how these two would interact outside of the game- how about a new scene taking place in somewhere completely different? How about Humanstuck? Would also love to see pointless fluff, and cooking together. (Terezi, NO. Red icing does not go on whatever you want it to!) Interactions with others would also be pretty cool. If it is Humanstuck, designs are up to you, but if you are completely lost, please check out skepticarcher’s designs since I am in love with them.'

Kanaya had always thought, rather curtly, that if you spent all your grocery money on junk food, you probably had less of nutritional value to eat. Terezi's general eating decorum involved a skinny arm snaking out from her studying fort constructed of textbooks and cushions to grab a piece of whatever she had rushed to the store to grab.

“When you do that,you look like that thing from those films that Rose likes,” Kanaya had said, “the one who wants the ring.”

“They were books, originally, you know,” said Terezi, evenly, “but then there's no vampires so Miss Maryam wouldn't be interested.”

“I have more than one interest, Miss Pyrope,” bristled Kanaya, “I hope you don't think that my interests are actually dominated by my appreciation for creatures of the night.”

Licking the surface of a freshly unwrapped piece of candy, Terezi said “then how come I caught you stalking around in the middle of the night,” narrowing her eyes behind her shades, she went on, “and don't think, Maryam, that I don't notice you eyeing my neck.”

Kanaya was not in the habit of doing such a thing but, to her annoyance, she found herself stammering and flushing, anyway. "You make it sound like I have a fetish or something. It's just an appreciation of the present themes in...”

Terezi's full mouth stretched across her face in a grin. “Kanaya, I'm being facetious,” she said, “and you said I looked like Gollum.”

She frowned, her bottom lip turning outwards a little. Kanaya swallowed. “I didn't mean you looked exactly like him, I meant you looked a little like you were reaching for your food like he reaches for the ring," she countered, swearing that her voice was even.

“I wonder what Rose would say if she knew you referred to the films before the books,” mused Terezi lightly, “I think she might be crushed if she knew that you don't care about that.”

“No, I don't think she would be,” said Kanaya, “she's not that enthusiastic about Lord of the Rings, anyway. She only wanted to encourage me to read different things because she thought that I needed to expand my reading sphere beyond...vampires...”

Kanaya blushed and pursed her mouth. “Anyway, my point was that you don't eat properly.”

“I don't see how that is relevant,” replied Terezi, sounding curt even through the crunch of syrupy red candy, “anyway, my major is intensive. Obviously, I need glucose to help my brain function. Basic nutritional science, Kanaya.”

“I think it's a little more complicated than that, Terezi.”

“How would you know? Did you minor in physics when I wasn't paying attention, or are you actually taking a course in Complex Corsetry And Basic Brain Chemistry?”

“According to Terezi Pyrope, I am seventy percent vampire aficionado and thirty percent fashionista,” muttered Kanaya, although she did find herself smiling just a little.

“More like sixty-five percent fashionista and forty-five percent vampire aficionado,” said Terezi, tilting her head in thought. The position gave her angular face an alien quality and Kanaya thought, not for the first time, that anyone could be forgiven for thinking that Terezi was not quite human.

“My point stands, though” said Kanaya, “I would like to teach you how to cook.”

“I can cook!”

“I would like to teach you how to cook things that are not mostly heated up in the microwave and also things that require more preparation than being shaken out of a rustling paper bag.”

Terezi scowled into the hole of a doughnut.

 

* * *

gallowsCalibrator [GC] began pestering tentacleTherapist [TT]

GC: K4N4Y4 H4S 4 PROBL3M W1TH TH3 W4Y 1 34T  
TT: Thank god somebody said something. GC: WH4T DO YOU M34N?  
TT: There are only so many times a person can watch you lick your way through something sticky like some invading lamprey monster from beyond the stars, intent on snacking on our delicious artificial fruit-flavored sugary treats.  
GC: >:/ GC: TH4T 1S NOT WH4T K4N4Y4 M34NT  
GC: OKAY SH3 K1ND OF D1D ME4N TH4T  
TT: I am fairly sure what she meant was 'Oh, Terezi, you tiny skinny little thing. Let me take you and look after you.' Possibly subconsciously.  
GC: YOU DO KNOW HOW TO G3T STR41GHT DOWN TO TH3 PSYCHOLOGY  
GC: H4S SH3 3V3R DON3 TH4T TO YOU?  
TT: Kanaya was not prepared for somebody with a childhood that involved passive aggressive cake decorating. I think she opened one too many painstakingly ornate fondant fancies, because for an entire month I got elaborate tentacle-shaped pastries.  
TT: I'm not sure whether that was Kanaya giving as good as she gets by dipping into the social arsenal that contains my dear brother, or just giving in.  
TT: I knew 'For My Queen Of The Damned' on six different cakes with blackberry and strawberry icing was the limit. That was the third time we broke up.  
GC: SH3'S G3TT1NG S3LF-CONSC1OUS 4BOUT H3R LOV3 OF V4MP1R3S  
TT: I know. I think it's college that's doing it. Too much cynicism in the air.  
GC: 1 TOLD H3R YOU'D B3 UPS3T 4BOUT H3R R3F3R3NC1NG TH3 LOTR F1LMS B3FOR3 TH3 BOOKS  
TT: I think it's pretty clear I'm not that kind of fan. I just really enjoy good world building.  
GC: 1 KNOW >:)  
TT: Don't remind her of that, though.  
GC: 1 WON'T >:D  
TT: Next time she and I meet, I'm going to ask her about Tom Bombadil.  
TT: Did she say you look like Gollum?  
GC: Y3S  
GC: 1T'S NOT 3X4CTLY FL4TT3R1NG TH4T YOU JUMP TO TH4T CONCLUS1ON >:/  
TT: I think you know what she means, Terezi.  
GC: YOU'R3 TH3 ON3 WHO D4T3D H3R F1V3 T1M3S THOUGH  
TT: Kanaya Maryam is not hard to read.  
TT: And it doesn't hurt to indulge her a bit.  
GC: YOU'R3 R1GHT

tentacleTherapist [TT] ceased pestering gallowsCalibrator [GC]

* * *

 

The next Saturday afternoon saw Terezi untwisted and persuaded into the kitchen, bony arms folded.

"I have a lot of studying to do, Kanaya," she said, only a little reproachfully.

“This will help you,” Kanaya smiled, “you won't get so hungry all the time.”

“What are we making?”

“We're making a fruit tart.”

There was that suspicious tilt of Terezi's head, again. “That doesn't sound very healthy to me, Kanaya,” she said, “in fact, I think it's as unhealthy as my food usually is, except there is going to be effort put into it that I could be spending studying and being well on my way to becoming an awesome lawyer.”

“I know,” replied Kanaya, removing the necessary bowls from the cupboards, “I'm meeting you halfway. You like sweet things. I'm going to give you that. This way, you might develop a taste for baking and we can proceed to make healthier things in the future.”

“What a nefarious plan, Maryam, I'm scandalized by the wool you are attempting to pull over my eyes,” Terezi's expression was one of mock horror, “but you've made the crucial mistake of telling me about them. A common mistake made by villains who are a little too proud of their dastardly machinations.”

She stood with her feet planted apart and her shoulders tilted back, her face holding an expression of exaggerated heroic triumph. She was wearing black leggings that had gone a little baggy around her narrow hips, and a long, tie-dyed t-shirt that hung over her skinny, non-breasted torso. Her hair was a little stringy and messy and it seemed like a very good idea to find an excuse to scoop her up.

And, also, it seemed like a good idea to dress her in anything but that, although Kanaya was taking baby steps.

So, instead, Kanaya reached into one of the food cupboards for the canned fruit, before turning with an arched eyebrow, which she knew that Terezi couldn't see, but which felt appropriate, anyway.

“I have a secret weapon, here,” she said, placing the can audibly on the table, as Terezi turned towards the noise, “I am fairly sure that you are powerless against this, Miss Pyrope.”

Retrieving the can-opener, the fruit was revealed as a dark mass sitting in its pool of dark syrup. It smelt more like syrup than fruit, and Terezi looked mildly spellbound by the scent. One long-fingered hand began to reach towards it, more sly than tentative, retreating, however, when Kanaya handed out a mild slap.

“Don't eat them, yet, please,” she said, “I do want this to actually result in a pie.”

“Oh, what a tragedy!” Terezi cradled her slapped fingers, “but, Kanaya, what if we made fruit pie without the pastry. We wouldn't even have to take it out of the tin before we eat it!”

“No,” Kanaya pulled the tin back, gently, “the pastry is important. It's what pulls it all together.”

"Food isn't fashion, Kanaya," muttered Terezi.

Kanaya emptied the tin of fruit into a bowl along with a decent amount of sugar, before pushing it into Terezi's hands, along with a spoon.

“Stir these, together,” instructed Kanaya, “while I go over here to get a saucepan. I really hope you do not take advantage of the situation to eat any.”

“Of course not! Kanaya's word is law, and I believe in the law.”

Kanaya turned her back, listening to the wet scrape of the spoon against the bottom of the bowl as Terezi stirred, a noise which was intercepted by the sound of lips smacking around something. Kanaya said nothing, and crept up on her, instead. She stopped, standing behind her, watching her hand bringing a sopping blackberry to her lips. Before it got there, however, Terezi's hand paused.

“I do believe, Miss Maryam, that you are eyeing my neck,” she said, her voice comically hushed, “you're silent but deadly.”

Kanaya said nothing, and instead placed one hand experimentally on Terezi's arm, before bringing it up to her shoulder in a soft rub.

“Mmm, Miss Maryam,” she said, “this is flagrantly inappropriate for a food preparation area.”

Kanaya's own breath and heartbeat began to echo in her ears. “Is this...okay?” if she kept it to a whisper, her voice wouldn't shake.

“It is absolutely fine,” said Terezi, around the blackberry, “although, I am to deduce that this is just a ploy to get to kiss me under the guise of drinking my blood. You have ensured that I have forgotten that vampires don't exist through your sexy Maryam wiles.”

Kanaya pressed herself against her, and brushing her mouth against the shoulder was exposed as the neckline of Terezi's oversized t-shirt drooped down, a little. “I'm sure I would not mind that,” she said, “especially since it might lead to you removing this monstrosity of a t-shirt.”

“Wow, Kanaya,” cackled Terezi, “I am impressed. So much that I may remove it, immediately, if you let me eat this bowl full of delicious fruit and sugar.”

“I think you might be the femme fatale, here,” murmured Kanaya, as Terezi turned round to kiss her, “teasing a girl like that and using such blackmail.”

Predictably, Terezi tasted like syrup. Maybe adding pastry could wait until later.


End file.
